Finn's Escape Plan
by erinjoy29
Summary: Finn decides the only way to escape his girl problems is to go to Dalton, but his parents won't send him. Enter Kurt's help and insane plans that end with Finn deciding he doesn't want to go after all. Klaine & Finn/Dave.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Glee. I can only dream.

**Set post-02x20, pre-02x21.**

* * *

><p>Finn is really confused, which isn't that uncommon, but it's only getting worse and he really doesn't know what to do. Even killing zombies isn't helping, and like, that hasn't happened since when he thought Quinn was having his hot-tub baby.<p>

This is way worse. Quinn and Rachel are driving him insane. He doesn't know who he wants to be with anymore, and it's not like he isn't trying to figure it out because he is. He totally is, he just needs some time to get away from them. The problem is that they're everywhere and he can't escape no matter how many times he tries.

He tried saying he had a football thing to go to yesterday and Quinn just glared at him and told him he was an idiot before storming off. He realised about five minutes later that just because she wasn't on the Cheerios now doesn't mean she suddenly forgot that football ended a couple months ago.

So now he's just sitting alone in his room after giving up on playing the Xbox. He thinks about working on his glee club assignment, but that just reminds him of Quinn and Rachel all over again so he throws himself back onto his bed and cringes when he hits the wall because he just knows Kurt's going to come and tell him off for it.

Kurt.

Why didn't he think of Kurt before? Kurt was always trying to get him to talk about stuff! He should ask Kurt for help. Finn mentally cheered, because he knows if Kurt came in and saw him randomly grinning at nothing the only way he'd be helping would be to tell Burt and his Mom that he needed to go to one of those places for crazy people.

Finn stops grinning and puts on a troubled face, because he knows that will make Kurt feel bad for him and want to help. He walks down the hall to Kurt's room and opens the door without knocking because Blaine must have already left, you know, since the door was shut. He sullenly walks in and throws himself down onto Kurt's bed.

Turns out that isn't the best plan, because Blaine is still over and even though they aren't _supposed _to shut the door they apparently did. Finn will later deny that he screamed like a five year old girl when he realised what he had landed on.

"Dude!" Finn says, jumping off of the bed and glaring at the other two boys in the room as if it's their fault he came in and threw himself on them while they were cuddled up watching a movie. This is one of those times where Finn is glad Kurt is like afraid of sex or something. He knows this because one time he was making a sandwich and he overheard Burt asking his Mom for advice. It was a really disturbing conversation and he's tried really hard since then to forget it.

Blaine looks kind of startled, and Kurt's face has gone kind of red. He gapes like a fish for a moment before pausing the movie and turning to Finn. "Finn, whatever your problem is had better be good. Because I'm going to burn all your clothes if you've come in here to ask me how the microwave works again."

Blaine looks kind of scared and Finn remembers not to laugh because he needs Kurt's help right now. "I don't know what to do, Kurt. You have to help me." Finn moans as he lies down next to Kurt on the bed. He doesn't see the widening of Kurt's eyes, nor does he hear the muffled laughter from Blaine as he continues his complaining. "Quinn and Rachel are driving me insane! You need to help me figure out how to get away from them so I can even think!"

Kurt gives him a weird look before speaking. "I don't know what to tell you, Finn. I'm sorry, really, I just haven't ever been in that kind of situation before. I like having Blaine around all the time. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say I can think clearer when he's here." He turns and smiles at Blaine, leaning in for a kiss. A kiss that is interrupted seconds later when Finn turns and sees what they're doing.

"Dude! You can't just do that when you know my relationships are making me sad." Finn is totally cool with the gay thing now. Ever since he's been living with Kurt, he's realised that it doesn't matter if you're a girl who loves girls or if you're a boy who loves boys. It just matters that you love each other. He thinks it's awesome.

Finn thinks that he's just jealous of Kurt. He wishes his relationship was as easy as Kurt and Blaine's seems to be. Instead he's stuck with two crazy girls who won't leave him alone. "Kurt, I wish I could like, trade lives with you or something so I didn't have to deal with girls."

Kurt laughs and responds to Finn's statement while intermittently giggling. "Finn, I don't think you'd be able to survive if you were me. I mean, you know all about this year, so I hardly think you want to have that be your life."

Finn's eyes open so wide he's afraid his eyeballs might fall out. He's just had an epiphany. "You know what, I think I do. If I go to Dalton, I can escape the girls because girls aren't allowed there, right? Blaine and I hang out, so I'd already have a friend like you did when you went there. This is a great idea! Yeah, I'm gonna go ask Mom and Burt if I can go to Dalton. Thanks, Kurt." Finn jumps up from Kurt's bed, leans back down to give him a big hug that causes Kurt to gasp for air, and heads off to find their parents.

Kurt blinks slowly before turning to Blaine. "Did that seriously just happen?"

Blaine nods. "Yeah, I think so."

They sit in silence for a second before Kurt speaks. "Would you be terribly offended if I wanted to skip the cuddling and go spy on my brother while he attempts to convince our parents to send him to Dalton?"

"Not at all. I get to come too, right?"

"Duh." Kurt replies as he drags Blaine out of the room and follows the sound of Finn's voice.

They find him in the living room, sitting in one of the single chairs opposite the couch where Burt and Carole are cuddled up. It seems Finn is already half-way through his explanation, so they hide at the top of the stairs and stay quiet. "Anyway, the reason I'm telling you this is because I need to go to Dalton like Kurt did so I can escape the girls."

Burt looks at Carole. She looks just as confused as he does but she decided to say something anyway. "Finn, honey, your situation and Kurt's situation are different. I'm sure you understand why I'm going to tell you we don't think you need to go to Dalton. Maybe you could try telling the girls you need some space?"

Finn contemplates his Mom's idea for a minute before he speaks again. "No, that won't work. I already tried it and Quinn said I just wanted to use my time to cheat on her with Rachel. Rachel just glared at me. I think I really need to go to Dalton. Do you think I can start tomorrow?"

"Finn, going to Dalton isn't going to happen. I know this is disappointing, but I'm sure you'll come up with a solution to your problems."

Finn frowns. His Mom has pressed play on the movie and stopped paying attention to him so he gets up and walks back up to his room deep in thought. He doesn't notice Kurt and Blaine, he's too busy trying to come up with a plan so he can go to Dalton. He just knows Dalton is the answer to all his problems!

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><p>It isn't until three days later that Carole and Burt hear anything more about Dalton. Finn's sitting at Friday night dinner with the family and Blaine because Blaine comes to Friday night dinners now because he's Kurt's boyfriend. Finn <em>is<em> allowed to bring Quinn but he really doesn't want to have to sit through his mother glaring at her. Carole never got over Quinn lying to Finn about the baby. They're just starting to tell each other about their days when Finn asks everybody if he can say something very important.

"I'd just like to tell you that this week something happened to me in glee club and I think you ought to know about it, Burt." Finn looks completely serious and Burt looks a little worried. He sees Kurt roll his eyes and isn't sure what to expect. Finn continues, "Just yesterday afternoon, Mr Schue was handing out the solos to this new song we're doing and I was a little insulted when he just handed the solos to Puck and Lauren. When I asked if I could try out he told me I couldn't!" He waits for Burt to say that he thinks that it's completely unreasonable.

"Finn, don't you do most of the solos as it is? Maybe you should give Puck a turn? I'm sure you'll get the next one." Burt thinks he does a good job of staying neutral.

Finn continues in his explanation, because apparently Burt didn't understand exactly what went on in the choir room. "Burt, I think you misunderstand." Now Kurt is practically in tears as he attempts to hold back laughter. Burt really is confused now. "I want to sing Lauren's part. You know Burt, the _girl's part_. Mr Schue said I couldn't do it! This is exactly like Kurt's situation. I think I need to go to Dalton to get away from such a derogative-" Kurt interrupts Finn with a choked "discriminative". Finn nods at Kurt in thanks, "Yeah, what Kurt said. Such a discriminative environment."

Burt doesn't really know how to break it to Finn, but he tries, "We already talked about this, buddy. You don't need to go to Dalton for something like that."

"But-" At his mother's look Finn stops and huffs. "Fine. I'm not really hungry. Can I go to my room?"

"Honey, you've barely even touched your food." Carole says, she's hoping Finn will get over this soon.

As they all watch him walk off Burt reaches out and jokingly hits Kurt's shaking shoulder. "Quit it. This isn't funny."

"That's where you're wrong. This is hilarious." Kurt really does look amused.

"You'd better not be helping him come up with this stuff." Kurt looks guilty for a moment, so Burt continues. "No more, you got that? He'll give up if he just accepts it."

"Fine. But I think this could have been really amusing."

"Go to your room, Kurt. This isn't funny." Burt looks irritated.

Kurt storms off and goes straight to Finn's room. "You know what, I don't care what he says. I'm going to help you, Finn."

Finn is thrilled. "Thanks, Kurt. This is going to be great. We can really bond as brothers!"

Kurt smiles too. "Exactly. Now, I have a great idea of what you can try next..."

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><p>Burt and Carole soon realised they should have taken Finn a little more seriously. Three days later, Finn comes home from school with a black eye and trailed by a hysterically laughing Kurt.<p>

Carole is horrified and runs to get an ice-pack. Kurt is still laughing which has in turn caused Burt to venture out from the living room to see what all the fuss is about. When he sees Finn's eye he starts yelling. "What the hell happened to him? Who did this to you, son? I'm going to march right down to that school and-"

Finn ducks away from his Mom and interrupts. "No! Burt, you don't have to do that. Puck said he was going to kill me so you just need to send me to Dalton! That way he won't be able to find me."

He looks so proud of himself that it makes Burt pause. "Wait a sec. How exactly did this happen?"

Kurt decides to chime in now that he has his laughter slightly under control. "During glee this afternoon, Finn went up to Puck and said he thought Lauren was hot and he wanted to kiss her. Puck punched him and then Finn asked him if- if- if he was going to kill him! Then he spent the next ten minutes asking Puck what it would take for him to want to kill him!" Kurt dissolved back into laughter at that.

Carole looked furious. "Finn! You and Noah have been friends for a very long time and I hardly think that pretending to want to kiss his girlfriend so he would punch you is an appropriate thing to do. All this just so you can go to Dalton?"

Finn looks at her blankly. "Duh, Mom. But anyway, now that Puck said he was going to kill me you can send me to Dalton because that's what happened with Karofsky and Kurt!" Carole isn't sure what to do with him at this point.

Kurt still can't manage to stop laughing by the time Carole finally speaks up again. "Finn, just go to your room. You aren't going to Dalton because you tricked your best friend into threatening to kill you. Which, by the way, I'm sure he didn't mean."

Finn gave her one last look and sighed before heading off towards his room. He heard footsteps behind him as he reached the stairs and saw that it was Kurt.

"Hey Finn, I know you really want to go to Dalton, but everything's going to be okay with you and Quinn and Rachel. You don't have to keep trying to get them to send you to Dalton." Kurt opens his door. "If you like, maybe we can hang out and I can help you come up with another plan."

"Nah, that's alright. I sort of have one last idea, and I don't think you can really help with it but if that doesn't work maybe we can try to think of something else."

* * *

><p>Finn's most recent idea involves Dave Karofsky himself. Since apparently it doesn't count if your best friend threatens to kill you, he decides the best way to carry out his next plan should involve the original bad guy.<p>

Finn corners Dave at school in the locker room. He makes sure everyone else is gone before he sneaks over to the showers and spots the boy he's looking for. He picks the shower stall right next to his and smiles brightly as he turns towards the other boy. Dave is so startled that he screams a little and sends his soap flying into the air. Finn watches it land in his stall and reaches down to grab it. He doesn't lose his smile as he offers it back. Dave hesitates before taking it as he's a little creeped out by Finn's behaviour. "Thanks."

"That's okay. Hey, so Dave, are you doing anything this Friday?" Dave looks stunned.

Finn is still staring at him. "Umm, no?" He can't help making it sound like a question.

Finn's smile gets even brighter somehow. "That's awesome. I need you to do me a favour. We have family dinner every Friday night and I need you to come, okay?"

Dave looks scared. "Dude, I don't think that's the best idea. I mean, Kurt and I are cool now, and I know he says his Dad like trusts his judgement or whatever, but I really don't think I should be going to your family dinners, you know?"

Finn realises that Dave doesn't know they're allowed to bring people. That must be the real problem. "Hey, no, it's fine. It's totally cool if you come. Dinner is at six, so try and get there at like five or something." Finn hops out of the shower before Dave can respond.

He's still frozen when Finn remembers to tell him where their new house is.

* * *

><p>Friday night arrives before he knows it, and Finn is excited. This plan has got to work. He's sitting in the living room with Burt and Blaine watching Deadliest Catch while Kurt and Carole are in the kitchen organising dinner. The door bell rings, and Finn jumps up to get it.<p>

Finn opens the door and is thrilled that Dave actually showed up. He invites him in and shows him into the living room and they both sit down on the couch next to Blaine. Blaine looks a little uneasy and excuses himself to go and help in the kitchen. Burt stares for a moment before following Blaine.

Dave watches TV for a few minutes before he realises that Finn isn't watching the TV anymore. Finn is staring at him, and it's honestly creeping him out. "Dude? What are you staring at me for?"

Finn hesitates. He isn't sure how to explain. "I need a favour." That seems like a good place to start. "I think I should warn you that at some point in the next few minutes I'm going to do something and I need you to go along with it, okay?"

Dave now looks really confused. "Go along with what, exactly?"

Finn was afraid of this. "I just need you to understand that you are the only person that could do this for me, so I really need you to just sit there."

"Well when are you going to do whatever it is you need me for?" Dave still looks puzzled. He's not sure if he should agree to go along with this.

Finn just kept smiling at him. "I don't know exactly. It's something I need to do at a certain time. I'm sure you understand." He pats Dave's knee as he explains, not really paying attention as his hand accidentally starts moving up slightly. He's too busy looking in the direction of the kitchen so he will know when someone is going to come into the living room.

Dave looks down wide-eyed as Finn keeps practically rubbing his leg. His voice is slightly higher pitched when he speaks again. "I really _don't_ understand, Hudson. Look, I think you should just tell me exactly what it is you expect me to-"

Dave squeaks in a very manly way as he is interrupted by Finn suddenly leaning in and kissing him. He flails as he manages to escape Finn's grasp and backs away to the other end of the couch staring wide-eyed at Finn.

Finn is looking over Dave's shoulder at Burt and Blaine who have just come back from the kitchen. He timed it perfectly so they would definitely see the kiss. Burt is gaping and Blaine looks as if he's actually frozen.

Burt is the first to break the silence. "Carole, Kurt. I think you need to come in here. Right now."

This is when Dave realises they aren't alone. He turns around and sees Mr Hummel and Blaine standing in the living room behind him and he freaks out inside. He looks over at Finn again and sees that he looks happy. Finn is just smiling really brightly again like in the showers and it's really starting to creep him out. Hell, he's pretty sure it's freaking everyone out.

Burt waits for Carole and Kurt to enter the living room before he continues. "Blaine and I just walked in on Finn and Dave kissing on the couch."

Kurt chokes audibly and looks to Blaine for confirmation. When he nods, Kurt isn't sure what to think. Carole is silent as she processes. She quickly comes to a conclusion though. "Finn?" She asks calmly, "This isn't about Dalton, is it?"

Finn just keeps smiling. "Actually, I've changed my mind about Dalton."

Carole replies quietly. "Oh."

Before anyone can say anything, Dave still looks kind of afraid, but he speaks up. "Dude, I really would kind of like an explanation about what just happened. I want to clarify that he kissed me. I swear this time I really didn't do the kissing. I was the kissee!" Dave says this mainly to Kurt, who now looks vaguely amused. He turns back to Finn. "I mean, is this some kind of misguided attempt at paying me back for the whole kissing Kurt thing. Because Kurt already forgave me, and to be honest I'm a little freaked out right now and I seriously don't know what Dalton has to do with you kissing me."

Finn really can't stop himself from smiling. This is a great day. He stands up from the couch and looks around at everyone's faces. Burt and Carole look like they're scared for his sanity, Kurt looks like he has no idea what is going on right now, and Blaine just looks like he's not sure what kind of crazy family he's gotten himself into. Dave still looks scared.

"Everyone, I have an announcement." They all continue to stare at him in silence. "I, Finn Hudson, enjoyed kissing David Karofsky. That's right everyone, I liked it! Girls are the problem in my life! I think you should all know I have decided I am going to start dating guys. Starting with Dave here."

Dave looks completely horrified. He looks at Kurt and frantically starts questioning him. "Dude, did I like turn him gay? You told me gay guys can't turn other dudes gay! You swore it!"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Of course you didn't turn him gay, Dave."

Finn interrupts again. "Actually he kind of did. I wonder if it's just Dave." Finn looks thoughtful before stepping towards his family. "Hey Kurt, do you think maybe I could kiss Blaine and see if I like that too? You know, to make sure."

Blaine looks horrified and quickly steps behind Kurt as if he was a shield. Kurt glares at Finn and responds in a way he thinks will justify telling Finn 'no'. "Oh Finn, I would say yes, but Blaine tends to have bad experiences when he kisses people other than me so it's probably for the best if you don't. Besides," Kurt continues with an evil grin at Dave, "I think that since you enjoyed kissing Dave so much, maybe you two should give things a shot. You never know, you might just be perfect for each other and it's taken you this long to figure it out!"

Blaine snorts while Burt gives Kurt a look. Finn looks contemplative. "Yeah, I get what you mean Kurt. Dave, let's go up to my room so we can talk about this in private." He grabs Dave's hand and starts dragging him up the stairs. He stops half-way and turns back to his Mom and Burt. "Don't worry guys. I understand that now I'm with Dave I need to leave the door open like Kurt does with Blaine. I still don't get that rule. You guys _do_ know guys can't get other guys pregnant, right?"

As Finn and Dave disappear at the top of the stairs, Kurt turns to his Dad and Carole. "That's coming from the boy who thought you could get a girl pregnant via hot-tub and probably still thinks cucumbers give you AIDS."

They all laugh before heading off to the kitchen. The last thing they hear as they round the corner is Finn's voice. "I really think this is going to work Dave. You're way more attractive than Quinn and Rachel and this will definitely get them to leave me alone. Plus, you'll totally put out right?"


End file.
